Dear Daddy,

Hey Daddy,

Yeah, I am not sure how to really talk to you. See, you were never home cause you worked all the time. And those rare moments that I did see you, you didn't really see me... I sit here, just wanting to talk but you never listen. Maybe you can read this? Please? Cause now I am grown up and I need to get some things off my chest.

Do you remember when I was three and I was trying to sing you a song? You were really busy and I thought that maybe a song would make your scowl turn into a smile of joy. All I wanted was you to smile. But you told me to shut up, that if I didn't know how to sing I shouldn't sing. Daddy, I cried myself to sleep every night for two weeks... Did you not want to hear my song? I have never sang after that night. Looking into the future, I could have had a bright career in singing, but you crushed my heart that night and I trusted my voice again.

Then there was that time that I came home with a bad report card. Daddy, all I had was a C. Did you really have to tell me how stupid I was and how I would never amount to anything? You called me stupid all the time, when I would spill my juice, when I dated the wrong boy, when I didn't make it to college. I wonder sometimes if you know how many times that word resounds in my head. You probably didn't mean it daddy, but that is the only thing I hear.

Middle is hard for every girl. And that day I just wanted to know that you thought I was pretty. "Daddy, how do I look?" "You are ugly, I don't know why you would think that you look good ever." I cannot get that out of my head. Am I really ugly? Will a man ever want me?

I wish you could see me now Daddy. I wish I could have stayed home when I got pregnant, but I couldn't bear to hear you say the words that were circling and tormenting my heart, "You are STUPID!" I wish that I would not have ended up on the streets after my boyfriend confirmed what you planted in my head, "You are UGLY!" I could have been something...My baby could have been something... Do you know Daddy that I needed you? Do you know that your words broke my heart? So here I am 17, alone, cold, a drug addict. I don't even know where my baby is.

Daddy, remember this little girl?

Please hold her now...

Love, Your little girl

Inspirational

 

Your beauty is inspirational.

 

Did you know that true beauty draws men in? Did you know that you have the ability to inspire men to become a warrior? Did you know that men desire to fight for a beautiful damsel in distress?

 

Men have been asking the question, "Am I strong enough, am I manly enough, do I have what it takes?" for centuries. This is the reason that men want to find adventure, they want a cause to live for in their life, they find everything they can to make them feel like they meausre up to a man. If a man is not displaying his full potential, then he has not had that question answered, "Do I have what it takes?"

 

Now I am not saying that it is our duty as women to make men feel like a man nor am I saying that we alone can answer the questions that they ask of their manliness. But we are created to be a mirror of what God thinks of others. They should look at us and see confirmation of the worth that God has already shown them.

Our beauty, our love, the wonder that we possess, the way that we nurture, care, and show affection, is made for a reason. We are made to find our identity and our purpose. And when we find that identity, it becomes the beauty in the inner spirit that shines through our very being.

Your smile can inspire joy, your love can inspire hope, you have the ability to inspire action and beauty. Everything that you touch has the ability to move mountains. And you can inspire men and women alike.

Imagine someone running....

They look all fit and happy. What does it make you want to do?




It makes me want to start running... To work out and be able to run with full strength, not getting tired and wearing out.
 

Imagine a dancer...

Does it make you want to dance? Does it make you wish that you took ballet and were that graceful?



















What about a great love story?

Does it make you want you fall in love and feel what they feel?









Now imagine that one person that shines from the inside out, imagine that beauty that just shines from everywhere and fills up the room. Does she make you want to be more beautiful? Does she make you want what she has?

That is what you can do for others. Your inner beauty inspires men to treat you with honor and respect. Your identity being found and solid in God wakes up the desire in other women for the same thing.

When you are sensational, everyone around you shines a little brighter! They benefit from your beauty...



#ProjectYouAreInspirational

Stilled

Tranquility. Breath. Quiet.

Summer for me is crazy. Always running around, hanging out with friends, working...everything. I feel as if I never just rest. I started to get really overwhelmed and tired. Worn out, even though I was on vacation. I put God on the back burner cause I was too tired at the end of the day to think about it.

Without God, I put up walls. Without His love, I am so burdened and overwhelmed. Without Him, I can't function.

I was walking into my room the other night, the same room that I haven't cleaned in a week, and I just felt done.

Tired. Broken. In bondage.

I HATE feeling weight on me, I hate feeling like I have chains around my wrists and heart, I hate feeling my walls up.

I started talking to God, being honest with Him, telling Him where I was at. I talk to God in a very real way because He is my lover, my best friend, my father.

"God, I am done. Again. I am too tired to do anything for You, I ran myself into the ground. I am so tired of people hurting me, You feel a million miles away, I am in a black hole again. This is not what I want but I have no energy to do anything about it. I can't physically do anything cause I am so tired."

I picked up a book I have been reading and read, "Be still."

"Be still and know I am God."

 

 

 

Knowing God starts with being still.

I don't know if that speaks to any one's heart but it spoke such rest and relief over me. Be still.

That is all you have to do. Stop trying to work for God's love, stop thinking that you have to be doing all the right things and being perfect to know God. Stop thinking that intimacy with God has anything to do with working and doing enough and being enough.

Be still.

Take a minute, breathe.

Be stilled. Let your heart stop its worrying. Lay your restless anxiety at His feet. Give Him permission to quiet you, give you peace, and lavish rest on you.

Stop everything, Be still. Stop in your tracks. Stop moving. Stop working. Stop striving so hard. Be at rest.

Know that He is God. He will work things out, give you what you need, protect and provide in every situation. He won the battle before it even started, so sit back and watch Him fight it for you. Be still, He is God and God is able.

#ProjectYouAreStilled

Extraordinary

You are a wonderful person. You are beautiful. You are secure in who you are in God. You are sexy. You are desirable. You are breathtaking.

Life. How often do we speak life into ourselves? Give ourselves a little pep talk.

The other day I caught myself mid-sentence speaking a terrible thing about myself.

I am sure that every girl has this issue but I like to say things when I am mad... Especially if you hurt my friends. I like to make up ways that I am going to injure them, or ways to get back at them. Stuff like let's go tp his house, or she is so rude, I hope she falls on her face today. Yeah...awful right? I am working on it I promise!! But after I say those nasty things I always follow it up with, "Just kidding, man I am a terrible person!!"

Which is a lie that I have said so much that I believe it after a while... I am a terrible person because I think those thoughts. Actually, those thoughts are what are terrible, not me. Yes, I should not say things like that but, they do not define me.

What do you say about yourself?

"You are so ugly. Wow, you really got fat. Why can't you stop being a failure? You are stupid. No one wants you. There is nothing good about you."

I want you to watch this video and see what these women see in themselves and how warped our reality is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

This was brought to my attention the other day by a wonderful friend of mine. I was crying in the car that night, having a total breakdown. I was crying because I felt like I would never amount to anything, felt like I would never find love, I have messed up so much that it must be something about me that is wrong. She reminded me of this video and told me that I saw myself as one thing when I was really a totally different thing. I was beautiful and that is what people saw in me. Not every imperfection and flaw.

I took this picture the other day while I was in the mountains...and I found that I was so critical of everything about it.

My nose looks huge.
I have a zit.
My hair looks like a little girl did it.
I have one eye that is bigger than the other.
I have a black dot on my face from something.
It looks like I am a drug addict cause of the bag under my eyes.
I look like I am 9 not 19.
My arm looks fat.








I want us to stop thinking like this. I want us to see ourselves as God sees us.

He looks down on us and tells us how beautiful we are everyday, every time that we look in the mirror, every little thing that we do, He thinks is wonderful.

God gave me two different size eyes, He gave me my nose. And He made me look younger than I am.

So next time that you catch yourself being critical, give yourself a pep talk instead. You are FAR more extraordinary than you give yourself credit for! So....

Go ahead, look in the mirror... Tell yourself wonderful, beautiful, true things...

Hey Maddy, you are gorgeous and mature and strong beyond your years. Taylor, you are confident and a great dancer, worthy of love and adoration. Andria, I think you look pretty hot today, you are always smiling and that smile just lights up some one's day. Dee, you are hilarious, everyone loves you, you have such a bright future.

Chiarra, you are captivating and noticed. You are beautiful.

 

You are what God says you are. Not what you think that you are. God thinks that you are extraordinary.

 

#ProjectYouAreExtraordinary

 

 

Priceless Princess

Having value beyond all price.

Inestimable worth.

Inability to calculate amount.

Am I worth something? What is my value? How much would someone do for me? How far would someone fight for me?

 

A few weeks ago I was asked the question if I loved someone. When I said I love a lot of people, the question was posed to me, "Would you be willing to suffer for someone? Would you die for them?"

 

Now this did not come from an American... This came from a Haitian. Not that really changes a lot of things, but it does put suffering in perspective... You see, our form of "suffering" is forgetting our phone at home or the electricity going out. If we skip one meal we are DYING!!! But that is the normal life for some people... So when a Haitian asks you, would you be willing to suffer for someone, that suffering is far more than what we think.

 

And I have to say that there are a few people I would suffer for, and even fewer that I would die for.

 

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13

 

Just being honest here, I really must not truly love everyone. I like life. I like living. I don't like being uncomfortable, or in pain, or suffering, and I especially don't like dying.

 

Thankfully there is someone who died for me.

Thankfully there is someone who thought I had enough worth to lay His life down for me.

 

I don't think that I have enough worth for that. I don't think I am worthy of that. And quite honestly, the thought of Christ suffering, bleeding, dying, for me makes me want to throw up. I know who I am and what I have done. I am no where near worth that much.

 

But to Jesus, the King of everything, the Maker of the universe, the God who owns everything and doesn't even need me to exist, I have worth beyond compare. I am priceless. He didn't put a limit on His love for me. He just died. Laid down His life and His worth for me...

 

He calls you princess. And He calls you priceless.

 

And He gave up everything, the entire world for you. Even when He knew how much you would mess up, how much you were going to fall away from Him.

 

God looked at what you think is unworthy and called it priceless.

 

 

 

#ProjectYouArePriceless

 

 

Bad Hair Days...

 

 

Ever have somedays that you just look in the mirror wonder what in the world happened?

 

It is like when you woke up Adam's Family met the Jetson's and got confused and turned into some form of alien meets humanity which then exploded onto your face and hair? Oh yeah and this always seems to happen on the days that you are running super late... Add on top of that, the fact that your face decided that it wanted to look like a stupid pizza that exploded in the oven, and you just ran out of cover up and can't find your foundation... And none of your pants fit because you are having a fat day and the entire closet gets dumped on your bed to find a single outfit that could make you feel at least a little bit better about yourself...

Yeah if you haven't guessed by now, welcome to my life this morning! Plus I feel like laying in bed all day cause these stupid cramps are making me want to DIE!

I hate being a girl sometimes.

I am 99.9% positive that all girls can sympathize with my crazy morning...

I guess you could say that it is humbling... Whenever I can't make myself look just right I tend to want to just hide. When that quick glance in the mirror tells me that today is just a failure, I really have to question where my beauty comes from.

 

I have self-esteem issues. I think everyone at some point does! Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole and pretend that the world doesn't exist. And I don't want anyone thinking that I have it all figured out. Cause I don't.

 

Last Thursday, I did something on Twitter. I said what I wish I could be like about every girl I know. I wish I could sing as well as             ... I wish I could be as beautiful as                  ... I wish I could be as              as             .

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I wish I could be someone else or that I am not okay with who God made me to be. But my point in doing that was, we forget that people look up to us for something... We get so caught up in what we don't like about who we think we are... "Oh I look like a pizza today, my hair looks insane, I can never sing like that, I am not happy all the time like so and so....etc."

 

We forget that we are beautiful. We forget that there is something that people wish that they could have that we have. Whether it be a talent such as singing, or the smile that lights up the room, or being really good at comforting people, someone wishes they could be you for at least something.

 

And most of the time it is what those people are making fun of you for, or what they NEVER compliment you about that they wish they could have of yours.

So next time that you are having a bad day and you feel that everyone is better than you, remember this simple fact:

We are all insecure about something. We all have something that everyday we have to take to God and ask for His help to look beyond.

Instead of being hard on yourself, try to encourage someone else on those terrible hair days. Tell another girl how beautiful, or dedicated, or good at singing, or how loving they are... Bless another girl and I can almost guarantee that her smile will come around and bless you just as much as it blesses her...

Love is contagious.

Spread the germ.

 

#ProjectYouAreSecure

 

 

Perfect

That word alone is daunting. It scares me. It makes me run. Why?

Because I will never attain perfection. I will never make it there alive.

"If you try to be perfect you will fail."

That is what we hear every day in our society.

But what if we are already perfect?

What if we don't have to attain perfection, because we are already there?

I have been asking God to show me what He sees in me, what does He see when He looks at me. And the other night, He said, "Perfect."

I was just sitting there like, "Whoa, God, that must have just been my brain making stuff up cause you didn't really mean that....right??"

"Perfect," He whispered again.

Again I was baffled. I am SO far from perfect....Could He really be saying this to me?

So I opened my Bible to prove to God that I was anything but perfect...and He brought me immediately to the word "perfect". First word I read in fact.

"This is the genealogy of Noah. Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God."

Genesis 6:9 (Emphasis mine)

Umm....Okay, yeah God but that was Noah. Not Chiarra. Noah was like a wonderful person, he did everything right. He had to never do anything wrong! You called him perfect in his generation....

"No, My child, He walked with Me."

"Noah walked with God."

"Oh, okay... so what does that mean then?"

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;

Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;

Do not forsake the works of Your hands."

Psalms 138:8

 "I perfect that which concerns you. I make you perfect. You just have to walk with Me and let Me work and finish the perfection that I have already started."

Then I got curious what perfect actually meant...Cause I thought that maybe I was thinking about things all wrong...

Conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type

Excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement

Entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings

Accurate, exact, or correct in every detail

Exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose

Don't believe me? Dictionary.reference.com, type in perfect...I swear I copied it right from there....

Stop for a few moments, read that again. Let those words flow over you... They are nothing you have to work for, nothing you have to work to prove. You are God's daughter and He sees you as perfect. Perfect is not something that we earn, not something we try to achieve through our beauty, our academics, our sports, and our weight. Perfection is given by God the second that you were thought of... thousands of years ago.

That means, if perfection was given to you way back then, nothing you do now could change that.

It was given without you working for it. Before you were even born and knew what it meant to be perfect. God formed you. And why would God waste His time on making something that was not perfect?

You are the definition of the ideal type. You are excellent beyond improvement. You have no flaw, no defect, and no shortcomings. You are correct and accurate in every detail.

The definition that gets me the most is:

You are exactly fitting the need for a certain purpose.

You have a purpose. You were created in fine detail with no flaw, not needing to add anything. You are perfect.

Say it in the mirror with your name...

Chiarra is the definition of the ideal type. Sophia is excellent beyond improvement. Nicole has no flaw or shortcoming. Jessi is accurate in every detail. You are exactly fitting a purpose.

 So stop trying to work for it.

Walk with God.

Allow Him perfect that which concerns you.

See that He created you perfect and that is how He sees you now.

#ProjectYouArePerfect

Meet Addrianna

Bald is beautiful.

 

 That's how all this madness started. My baby sister, my youth pastors' daughter, and I were all very fed up with the way society advertised beauty and the desire to achieve it. Anorexia, bulimia, self hate, suicide, and absolutely no sense of self worth were and still are some results of not fulfilling society's "beauty standards."

The three of us got to together and contemplated for months what to do about this. What would make a statement, make people question and realize how AMAZING they are, not only to us, but to God. My youth pastors' daughter said with confidence that we should shave our heads. Being a victim of self hate, and having no sense of self worth at the time, I had a real struggle with this. I held confidence in my hair, make up, and 90 pound body as a sophomore in high school. I prayed long and hard and the three of us decided to go through with it.

 

 

As I sat in the chair and my aunt shaved my head, I felt my confidence fall of my body and into my soul.

 

 

The journey doesn't end there, we promoted the idea! We told all the people we could! We took it to the public schools, to home school groups, our church, our friends and random strangers. We told every human we got the chance to talk to how amazing and beautiful they were made! Their beauty lied within not on their face or body. Still, the fight goes on. We still promote true beauty! We leave sticky notes on bathroom mirrors and push as many buttons with society as we can to get our message across!

 

#ProjectYouAreBeautiful

Hope in the eyes of Haiti...

Disclaimer, the content of this post might be a little graphic and emotionally deep for younger audiences. Please use discretion before reading.

For those who did not know, I recently got back from Haiti. And I can't tell you how much it changed everything! All that I hold dear is no longer as important to me. All my problems and things that I let consume my mind are a distant memory to me now. When you see people living in such poverty yet raise their hands and still praise God, you won't ever be able to to look at life the same.

How much do you really know about hope? And how much does it truly affect you daily? Does hope consume your mind, does it change how you feel about the world? Does it transform your vision? Does it create light in your heart and joy in your soul?

Hope is something that lights up every aspect of your face, it is something that brightens your smile and leaves you glowing. Hope is something you can't explain to others, it is something that is shown through everything that you do and are.

Hope.

Hope is beautiful.

And there is hope in Haiti.

In the place you least expect hope you will find it stronger than ever.

Haiti is a beautiful country, full of warm and welcoming people, villages of children that will melt your heart. But Haiti is also lost. It is a country overtaken with voodoo and witchcraft, where your sacrifices to the witch are more important than food in your child's belly. It is a place that I could not leave without being heartbroken.

I often wondered while I was there, where the little girls I was holding would end up in three or four years... What would happen if their parents hit hard times and had to sell them into sex slavery to pay debts? Or worse yet, what if they felt that was the only way that their child could have a decent life?

What would you do if you were a little kid, living in a place ridden with trash and bugs and destroyed from an earthquake, where one little scrape could kill you literally, wondering where your next meal was coming from, and wondering what happened to mommy and daddy, why these strange men were beating you tonight when just yesterday you were playing in the village? You have no idea why you were abandoned and you have no where to go. There is no government to put you into any kind of home, no one cares if you live or die. You are simply another body breathing and taking up space and air and food. All you are wanted for is your body, every night beaten into submission until you are nothing more than a skeleton laying on the bed waiting for the next man to rip your little body to shreds.

Now imagine being a teenage girl about 15 and not having a period for a few months, not knowing whether or not you will live through childbirth. Half of the time it is either the mom or the kid who dies in childbirth if not both. Imagine not knowing who the father is, or worse yet him having nothing to do with you. You not only have to provide for a baby with at most a dollar a day in salary, if you even are lucky enough to have a job, but you also have to find a place to raise a child. You are scared, homeless, and alone. And there is no one to help. No shelter you can go to, no crisis pregnancy center, no financial aid, no food stamps. You have signed the death certificate of your child before you even sign the birth certificate. Can you imagine how that would feel? You are invisible and you are alone. You have nothing to give you hope.

Now look at your life right where it is at. Your problems probably and hopefully seem very small to you now. When I was in Haiti I had no access to drama AKA Facebook and Twitter. I did not even turn my phone on for a week. You want to know what I found? The less I was consumed with myself, the more my eyes were opened to other people and the hurts that they were going through. The more that I focused on others and not on my own issues, the more that mine paled in comparison. Not that what I was going through wasn't an issue to me or it still did not need to be dealt with, but it wasn't consuming. I could look at my life and see the bigger picture beyond my temporary frustration.

As I was holding a little girl by the name of Francesca,  I felt my heart beat in a way that it never had beaten before. I felt it beat to the pain and heartache of another.

I felt her life and her past just throb in my arms, I wanted to weep at her joy even though she was lighter than a 3 year old when she was probably close to 10 or 11. I wanted to hold her and love her, pour everything that I was into her frail little body, covered with nothing more than a thin t-shirt with holes. Her smile made my life seem so frivolous and ridiculous, all my worries and cares seem absolutely absurd. Her joy and her laughter made me see that I was but a fleeting breath, placed here for such a time as this. I have the opportunity to do so much for people and yet I do nothing.

As I told Francesca goodbye, my heart stayed with her. My love stayed with her. I miss her more than I would I miss my arm if it was cut off.

While in the midst of unthinkable poverty and destruction, the people of Haiti still have hope. They hope in a God that is bigger than we as Americans imagine Him to be. They hope in a God who does miracles and heals the sick and raises the dead to life. They put their hope in a God even when they have nothing to prove that He is there. They put their faith in the fact that when they pray, it will happen. It may not be today or tomorrow, but God will show up. They never lose their faith in God, they never lose hope. That hope is spreading from a few people in Haiti to everyone. That hope is contagious and it is growing, despite the grim circumstances that would put any of us here in despair. They have hope in God because He is all that they have and all that they need.

So I want to challenge you, put down your phone for a day and tune into people's lives for real. Take time to look into people's eyes, ask how they are, and truly listen. Take your siblings to the park and play with them, cherish the fact that they are healthy and have the ability to smile and laugh and run.

Learn from the kids and people in Haiti, have hope in even your darkest times. Smile when you are hungry, pray when you need help, and find joy and laughter in the smallest things in life. Give hope. You have been given so much in this life, stop complaining and realize that you have every reason to have hope.

Your life is but a breath. And you are more than blessed.

#ProjectYouAreHope

A Jewel

 

Dear Love, You suck.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I love love. Honestly I do. I love being loved and I love loving. I seriously loved being a girlfriend when I was one, all the sweet letters I would write, cute things I could make, all the hearts that I could draw all over everything. I think that is why I want a relationship soooo badly sometimes. I want to love someone. I want to give them all of my heart and effort.

 

When you love someone, it is frustrating when they only return their efforts 50% of what you give. I get so upset when I feel like I am doing everything I can and the other person is not returning the effort. Relationships have ebbs and flows, times when you are empty and can't give and times that you are overflowing. It isn't going to be easy all the time but when the other person is always taking and never giving back to you, things can get hurtful.

 

What happens when we give extraordinary amounts of love and forgiveness to someone and they take advantage of it? They abuse the fact that you will always forgive them and they hurt you on purpose. That is extremely immature and they are wasting a beautiful treasure of your love on their own stupidity. It is unhealthy and you have every right to stand up for yourself and say "I love you but I will not allow myself to be walked all over. Treat me right or please do not be apart of my life." That is a completely healthy and mature way to handle things.

 

You see, if we water a garden of weeds, what are we going to get? More weeds.

 

If we water a garden of roses bushes, what will we get? Yeah we may get a few weeds and a few thorns, but the beauty of the roses will far outweigh the occasional thorn.

 

You must water your garden of roses and stop watering your garden of weeds. Take time to pour into the people who are healthy, who bring you up, love you no matter what, who care for your heart and don't want to hurt you in the same way that you do not want to hurt them... Stop watering the weeds in your life who have no care for your heart and beauty.

 

Over the weekend I had a wonderful conversation with my dad. I rarely tell my dad about my problems because I don't want to bother him and he is really busy a lot of the time. I assume that because he is in the middle of things that he won't want to sit down and talk to me (which is so far from the truth!).

 

My dad is a fantastic dude. I am sorry for everyone who does not have a dad just like him.

 

I was telling my dad about how frustrated I was with being mistreated. I give my love and I get stabbed in the back in return, and it was killing me. I was crying so hard. I was so frustrated and hurt and betrayed. We talked for a long time and I will tell you more of our conversation maybe in a later post, but he spoke such healing words to me.

 

My dad told me that one day a man would come along and he would see the jewel of my heart and be so amazed. He will be blown away by the fact that a woman like me exists, so much that he won't know what to do. He will want to protect and love every part of me. Whoever sees the beauty of my heart will never understand why anyone let me go. He will fight for me, fight to be around me, fight to love me, fight to protect me.

 

My dad told me that he was proud of me and that I was worth far more than I knew.

 

You see, you are a jewel. And your love is something to be treasured. You are someone who a man is going to fall all over. He is going to take one look at you and your heart and be starstruck. He will take care of you and do everything that he can to avoid hurting you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He will treasure and value you.

 

And until that time, God is willing to sit at the door of your heart and keep out anyone who will not treasure your beauty and strength. You are a delicate flower, not meant to be trampled on but to inspire beauty and awe and power. You are a jewel, the only one who is as beautiful as you.

 

.

 

#ProjectYouAreAJewel

 

 

Mine ((Part 3))

Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever had your heart broken? Have you been used, abused, taken advantage of? Has your life been harder than it should have been for your age? Have you ever gone through hell? Do you have demons that still haunt you every night, making you remember your dirty shame? Do you feel worthless? Are there faces that come to mind of people who have completely destroyed you in the past, caused wounds and scars that you are still trying to heal?

 

If you are older than 2 years old, you can say yes to any of the questions above. Unless of course you have lived your life in a stone tower far above any civilization or interaction with people. Which I guess is possible but if that is true then I am jealous of your hair.

 

Everyone in life has taken some heavy blows. Ones that we do not deserve, ones that knock us down, break our hearts.

 

And the thing about life is, the worse that we get hurt the less likely it is that we will get an apology.

 

I have been run over by so many people in my life, people who will never apologize or take responsibility. I have been beaten down, bruised, and knocked out. And I carry those scars.

 

But one night, during worship at church, God broke through some chains. Remember my first post about being God's (if not go read it really fast so this makes sense :) )? God introduces us to everyone saying, "She is Mine."

 

While I was worshipping, God took me by the waist and He took me in my mind to painful things in my past; ex-boyfriends, best friends, people who betrayed me, situations that I had run from, things that had scarred me for life. And as we stepped up to each event in my life, God introduced me to either that person or that situation and said, "She is Mine."

 

He told my ex-lovers, "She is Mine."

He told my memory of feeling worthless and invisible, "She is Mine."

He told my scars of people constantly using and abusing me, "She is Mine."

He told my little girl self who was still crying in the closet, "She is Mine."

 

He spoke those words and no longer did those things have power over me. No longer did those scars pierce me any further, no longer did those who hate me have any control. He spoke belonging and freedom into the very depths of my broken heart.

 

 

 

Ask Him to take you on a journey of your past, ask Him to walk you up to everything that has hurt you and invite Him to introduce you as, "She is Mine." Please feel free to share your story of this journey below if you feel comfortable.

#ProjectYouAreHis

 

 



Mine ((Part 2))

Puppy love.

Infatuation.

Amore.

Crush.

Affection.

Cupid.

Fascination.

Lust.

Addiction.

 

We are addicted to love.

 

Why do you think that there are "chick-flicks" and romance novels? Why do fairy tales exist?

 

Because we are in love with love.

 

We want to be romanced. We want to be in love. We want to have a love story that we can tell to our grandchildren.

 

We desire love.

 

And that is the way that we are made. And it is beautiful. God loves that. He made us to need and crave love. He made us to want to be loved.

 

But the thing about love is, it never satisfies us completely. Puppy love always wears off. That honeymoon phase wears off, and you end up with a broken heart and extremely unhappy. So you try it again and again, looking for love anywhere that you can get it. Why? Cause you have a hole that needs to filled.

 

Love can only give us so much. And that is also how we were made.

 

God made us to be unsatisfied with love from men. He made us to desire more and want more.

 

Why?

 

Because He wants to say, "She is Mine."

 

He wants to fill our hearts, He wants to romance us, He wants to fill us. He wants to hold us when we hurt, He wants to care for us when we are broken, He wants to fill every part of us. He wants to be in love with you, He wants to show you how madly, passionately, and fiercely that He loves you. He wants to take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.

 

He wants to dance with you. He wants to love you, to kiss you, to make you see your beauty.

 

He desires to say when He looks at you, "She is Mine."



He wants you to be His bride, His lover, His wife, His best friend.... He wants You.

 

All He wants to do is for you to let Him love you. Let Him romance you, let Him be passionate about you. You will fall in love with Him. You will dance in His arms and never want to leave. You will feel His strength.

 

When you fall in love with God, His love will satisfy you to the deepest core. And when His love satisfies you, you will be able to love someone on earth and be content with human love.

 

 

Only God can fill the love hole that He created.

 



 

 

 

#ProjectYouAreHisLover

 

 

Mine ((Part 1))

Sometimes girls like to be shown off. I mean come on, I don't know a single lady who would not love to be introduced to everyone by a hot man with his arm around her waist.

 

Imagine it with me, you walk into a room of strangers, dazed and confused. Suddenly, your boyfriend/husband/guy-friend/brother/dad/etc. walks over to greet you and says hello. That familiar face puts you at ease and helps you find your place again. Then he excitedly says, "Come on I want to introduce you to my friends!!"

 

I don't know if this has happened to you before but have you ever been in the situation where you are being introduced and you are completely excluded? The guy says, "Hey this is Chiarra," and then starts talking with his friend about some sport that you know nothing about, or the last level in that video game they were playing last night. It is really easy to fade into the background at that point. I, most times, just end up walking away, unnoticed, uncomfortable, and not missed.

 

Imagine though if you were the center of the conversation. Imagine being introduced to his friends and then he sits there and tells them everything that he can think of about you. "Chiarra loves spaghetti, seriously one time she ate a whole pan full." "Chiarra is the most tender, caring person I know, one time she came and took care of me while I was sick." "There was one time when Chiarra and I..." Okay you get the picture...They make sure that the other person loves you as much as they do by the time that they are done. They show you off to the world, showcasing your every beautiful characteristic... Drawing attention to you.

 

 

This might be a little extreme but you get the picture...

 

Every girl wants to feel important and loved. And they should feel that way. Everyday. It boosts a girl's self-esteem to know that she is worth being bragged about.

Did you know that is how God is with us?

He takes us around in every situation and says to every person, "Hey, have you met her? She is Mine. Isn't she the most beautiful thing that you have ever seen?"

He takes you by the hand and says, "You are Mine. Let me show you off to the world!!"

Stay tuned for my next couple blogs about what exactly it means to be called, "Mine."

#ProjectYouAreMine

 

 

 



Loved

Do you ever feel alone? Do you ever empty? Worn down? Disappointed? Hurt?

Do you feel like no one sees those feelings? Do you feel like you ache alone?

As women we have been taught to be alone, do things by ourselves, and to not need help and cannot rely on love.

Yet there is a longing in our soul to be seen and heard. There is a longing to be loved, even in our pain. We desire to be desired. We want to be visible and noticed.

Ephesians 3:17b-19 (Emphasis mine) "...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

How can we be filled to the point that we are at the same level with the fullness of God? I don't know about you but I have NEVER felt that full of love. I have never experienced that kind of love.

I have seen the love that expects you to be happy, that doesn't want you to have needs, the love that only lasts when things are good, love based on performance, love that was given only after I had emptied everything I had on them.

God saw everything. God saw when I was wounded, He sees when I am alone. He loves me when my soul is dry. He loves me when I run. His love reaches to the depth of the ocean where I have long since buried my heart.

God never took His eyes off of you.

God loves you.

Not the kind of mass, God loves everyone, stuff.

It is just as if I was saying Jonny loves you, or George is mad about you.

God is mad about you.

It is individual. Specifically for you.

He desires to fill you with His love.

No matter how far you run, how long you hide, how much you fall away.....

God can run faster, He will wait for you till the end of eternity, and His love reaches from East to West. There is no height too high, no depth to low, no distance too long for Him.

God is in love with you.

 

 

#ProjectYouAreLoved

 

 

 

Just like you

All our lives we live in the pressure of this question, Am I beautiful?

 

I know I talk a lot about this question and what it means to me.

 

But I want you to know that I am working through the answer myself.

 

See, I have hid this question inside my soul, never letting it come out because quite honestly, I am scared of the answer.

 

You see all my life I have lived under the shadow of Disney princesses and Barbie. Now, don't get me wrong, I love all these women! I think that princesses stir and keep alive a dying desire in girls to be treasured and Barbie presents a strong and independent woman.

 

But, these images are always perfect! They are always wearing makeup. They are always holding themselves to such high fashion standards. Even Cinderella's rags are prettier than my sweats and messy bun. Have you ever tried to do your hair like a Disney princess? Impossible.

 

Today on my Twitter I went off on myself. It started with, "I need to stop comparing myself to other girls. I always feel too much of everything bad next to any girl. #smh #depressing"

 

Is that you? Do you stand next to a pretty girl and think of everything that you are not and that she is? Do you compared your talents and every area that you fall short to every thing that she excels in? "Like hello, you are beautiful, why can't I be like you?? Or you are really close to God, I'm not as good as you... #needtostop #honesty"

 

Or maybe you see the girl who has guys literally FALLING on their feet. Personally, I always find a reason to hate those girls...but secretly I try to be just like them. "Or that guy likes you so I am going to dress and act just like you so he will notice me. Forget the fact, that I can't fit in your skin. :/"

 

 

My final tweet sums it all up:

 "I turn to hating girls who are pretty cause it is easier than facing my own insecurities."

If you are pretty, you are on my hit list. I look for every flaw in you that I can find. If you are nice and sweet and gentle, I hate you inwardly. If you have a lot of friends and seem to have every one's attention, I can't bear to share the light with you.

 

I have never had a weight problem, unless you count being so skinny that you get made fun of for it, chicken legs was a personal wound for me. I would love to tell you that being skinny is great. But it sucks. Whatever way that you are, skinny, ugly, pretty, smart, dumb, everything, you will get made fun of for it? Why?

 

Cause girls are insecure. And the best way to hide that insecurity is put others down lower than how low they already feel.

 

And I am guilty.

 

So here I am. I am opening up the dirty nitty gritty of my "Burn Book" to you. I am telling you that if you are more loving, prettier, more fit, smarter, a dude magnet, or anything that I do not have, I have inwardly disliked you. I have not celebrated the fact that God gave you a beautiful voice, or a wonderful inviting gorgeous face or the fact that you can make everyone laugh.

 

And for that I am eternally sorry. As all girls should be.

 

We should be celebrating our differences, bringing each other up, building the other's confidence level. Instead of saying, oh I wish I was more like you, tell yourself that you make the most perfect you and no one could be a better one.

 

 

The more that we chase those who we wish we were, the more that we lose who we were supposed to be.

 

 

I am exposing lies. I am calling us to a higher level. I am asking for you to embrace the fact that you are a beautiful you. That no one is better than you, and you aren't better than anyone else.

 

Be you :)

 

#ProjectYouAreJustLikeYou