Seen

 

You are not invisible…

 

Now, you may be saying, well apparently you really don’t know me. I am invisible. Chiarra, the pain behind my eyes hasn’t been seen since it was put there. No one cares.

 

I have been there. For years I felt invisible. And if we are being honest here, I still feel invisible a lot of the time. I wonder how many times people have truly looked into my eyes and seen the depth behind them. I always wonder if people really stopped would they see anything besides the mask of perfection that I have put up?

 
 

Would you ever think when you look at me that I struggle daily? I don’t think that you would. I have perfected the art of masking my emotion. I am put together. No one knows when I am in pain, or insecure, or falling apart. No one knows. And why? I don’t know why. All I know is that I have been “perfect” for far too long.

 

And it has made me feel invisible. Because people only look at my perfection. They do not bother to look behind my eyes into the depth of my soul. They don’t see the little girl sitting there wishing for a comforting hug just so she feels safe. You will never see the middle school girl that is screaming for someone to notice that she was dying on the inside. If you look into my eyes, will you see how tired and exhausted I am, how life has taken its toll on me? I don’t think so. Because I am a professional at making people believe that I am fine, so I become invisible because I am fine.

 

This is my vulnerability. This is me putting myself on the line and saying that I am not perfect. This is me saying that my life is not the Barbie doll life that people think I have. This is me saying that I feel invisible.

 

But this is me also saying that I don’t need to be seen. I do not need to be seen to know I am loved.

 

You see, in the midst of everything that I have gone through, I have realized that there was someone watching my pain the whole time. Someone who was crying when I was crying, Someone whose heart broke when I was heartbroken, Someone who saw everything, Who still sees everything.

 

He was sitting there with me on my darkest nights. When I felt invisible he was comforting me saying, “This is not what I want for you, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am sorry for your pain and I wish that I could take it. I see you and I see that you are breaking apart and it breaks me. I am sorry.” He was weeping as He held me, telling me that He saw me.

 

I do not need to be seen by those around me, I am seen by my Heavenly Father. I am seen by my Creator, who weeps when I weep, who allows me to be broken. He is okay when I am not perfect. In fact it is His greatest delight for me not to be perfect. That is why He sent me His Son. Because He wanted me to know that He loved me so much that He was willing to lay everything out on the line to get me.

 

God risked it all on us. He risked the fact that we may never come to Him. We may never realize that God was there the whole time that we were hurting. We may never except His love. Yet He still risked it on us. God sees our need for Him. He sees everything about us.

 

We are seen. We are not invisible. Everything about us is visible to a God who loves every little piece of us. You, my darling, are seen and cared for by a wonderful God who is calling your name. He is saying, “My love, let me take care of all of the parts of your heart that others can’t see.”

 

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