Yeah, I am not sure how to really talk to you. See, you were never home cause you worked all the time. And those rare moments that I did see you, you didn't really see me... I sit here, just wanting to talk but you never listen. Maybe you can read this? Please? Cause now I am grown up and I need to get some things off my chest.
Do you remember when I was three and I was trying to sing you a song? You were really busy and I thought that maybe a song would make your scowl turn into a smile of joy. All I wanted was you to smile. But you told me to shut up, that if I didn't know how to sing I shouldn't sing. Daddy, I cried myself to sleep every night for two weeks... Did you not want to hear my song? I have never sang after that night. Looking into the future, I could have had a bright career in singing, but you crushed my heart that night and I trusted my voice again.
Then there was that time that I came home with a bad report card. Daddy, all I had was a C. Did you really have to tell me how stupid I was and how I would never amount to anything? You called me stupid all the time, when I would spill my juice, when I dated the wrong boy, when I didn't make it to college. I wonder sometimes if you know how many times that word resounds in my head. You probably didn't mean it daddy, but that is the only thing I hear.
Middle is hard for every girl. And that day I just wanted to know that you thought I was pretty. "Daddy, how do I look?" "You are ugly, I don't know why you would think that you look good ever." I cannot get that out of my head. Am I really ugly? Will a man ever want me?
I wish you could see me now Daddy. I wish I could have stayed home when I got pregnant, but I couldn't bear to hear you say the words that were circling and tormenting my heart, "You are STUPID!" I wish that I would not have ended up on the streets after my boyfriend confirmed what you planted in my head, "You are UGLY!" I could have been something...My baby could have been something... Do you know Daddy that I needed you? Do you know that your words broke my heart? So here I am 17, alone, cold, a drug addict. I don't even know where my baby is.
Daddy, remember this little girl?
Please hold her now...
Love, Your little girl
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