Lessons learned from a bobby pin...

Lately, it feels as if my life is falling together and falling apart all at the same time... It is both frustrating and wonderful all at once. I feel as if my life is changing, and it is scary. When you have made a place for yourself in your own little world, when that world changes, your place isn't there anymore.

Where does an oddly shaped girl fit in a messy world? Where does a girl with high standards and different thoughts fit? Where does a tender heart and a loving soul fit in a harsh and cruel world?

Ever felt like you don't fit? You are a circle and you simply cannot fit into their pretty little boxes.

As I was contemplating this thought last night in the shower, I could not help but think about how different I am... And how sometimes that makes me unhappy. I am different, which means I don't get all the guys, when I do get them I don't let them have what they want and then they leave anyways. Yet all these other girls can be all happy and in a relationship... It is really depressing sometimes. Be honest with yourself, sometimes it feels like it would be better to be like everyone else.

I don't dress to show off everything that God gave me, or didn't give me as my case is sometimes! And that means that I don't get the stares as I walk through the mall. I don't get the guys asking for my number all day. I rarely wear makeup because I think that my inner beauty (and my sleep!!!) is more important than caking on the mask. I think sometimes that people think I am a hippy cause I never straighten my hair or do my makeup... but really, I just don't care anymore. I am beautiful without having to do up myself.

See, I am a circle. And the world feels like a box sometimes.

As I stepped out of the shower, I asked God this question: "Do you have a place for me? I mean like, is there a plan in which I can fit in this life? Life is changing and I don't know where I fit..."

I looked on the floor and God answered my question with a bobby pin that I had knocked on the floor earlier.

You see, it wasn't a normal bobby pin. It was the kind that you use when you do pretty updo's. It was one that I got when I had my hair professionally done for prom...

It's a little oddly shaped, it doesn't work for every hair style...it won't work for your normal ponytail. It is special, it looks weird.

But it has a purpose. And it makes things beautiful... it helps to make hair more beautiful than normal.

But in a stack of bobby pins, it sticks out like a freak!

 

 

Bobby pins all look the same, and they all have the same purpose. You use them to do all the same things everyday. Nothing special about them. Normal, and all like the rest of them.

 

 

Do you get where I am going with this??

 

God made you an oddly shaped bobby pin. He made you unlike the rest for a reason. And that reason is to create something beautiful, out of the norm, beyond the everyday style. You make life more beautiful than normal. You will stick out, because you have a different purpose than everyone else who tries to bend themselves into a normal bobby pin.

 

So be encouraged, you won't look like anyone else. You will stick out. Just know that you have a purpose that is greater than looking like everyone else!!

 

 

#ProjectYouAreOutOfTheNormal

God paints with invisible paint...

Sometimes God paints a picture with invisible paint. You are sitting there asking for answers and He just keeps on being invisible.

Today I was having a conversation with a wonderful wise friend of mine and we were talking about the book of Esther and how God is not mentioned in the book of Esther. He doesn't fight any great battles, He doesn't do any huge miracles, God simply seems invisible. All you see in the story is Esther going through some crazy circumstances. She gets kidnapped from her home, prepped and polished for a year to go and give her purity away to a king who isn't even her own people, then she finds that after all of that, She is going to be killed with all her people, all cause of an issue that the king's best friend has with her cousin.

Pretty crappy story if you ask me. Esther just had one thing right after another happen to her. Sometimes that feels like our lives... I have a good life, but it is not an easy one. It has been one thing right after another happen for my family... Life throws some hard stones at me and I have taken the beating since I was young. I never understood why. But these last few years have been especially hard. And I always prayed God help me, take this away, why am I going through this? Why me, God? Why do I have to endure this? Are You here? Are you not powerful enough to take this away from me? Where are You and why aren't You doing anything??

Just as in Esther though, God was working.

But we don't see it until the end when everything falls together. We don't see His hand working until the very end. We see His hand suddenly in making sure that out of all the women, Esther was picked. We see that God had the plan the king's best friend would hate her cousin. If her cousin wasn't aware and in the position to talk to her about it, if she wasn't queen, if the king didn't hold out his scepter.... What would have happened if the king had plans that night and couldn't come to the feast that Esther had prepared, what if he was out at war? So many factors that God silently made happen behind the scenes.

God could have easily appeared to the king in a dream, or done some miracle through the priests. God could have created war against the nation that would have prevented them from being able to kill every Jew... God could have shone His high and glorious power, but He chose to be silent.

I am sure that the people were crying out to Him... If I was going to die I would have been!!! God please save us! God don't let me die! God help us!! God where are You? Why us? Don't You care? Don't You see that we are going to die? Why aren't You working miracles for us??

Sounds like stuff I pray all the time...

But God chose to teach the people to look for Him behind the scenes...

God was painting with invisible paint... He was working in the dark, showing no one what He was doing. He let the people think that He wasn't working on their behalf. He let them get to 11:59 at night before He turned on the black light and they could see His hand in everything!

 

We can't see what God is doing most of the time! We get so angry because He isn't working, He isn't doing miracles, He isn't showing up, catching us when we fall... But when you look back, you will see that God was painting all the time, it was just invisible paint.

Last night was when God flipped on the black light and suddenly I could see the masterpiece that He was creating with my life. I saw how each pain, heartache, and trial made the picture intricate and beautiful... Every time I asked Him why, He just smiled and kept painting. Like an artist when you ask what they are making and they smile and whisper, "Just wait." Suddenly God flips on that black light and all the times that I thought He abandoned me, He was just painting. I saw how each thing that I went through, each time that I wondered if God had a plan, it really does have a purpose...

I have used each struggle to help someone, I know what to say because I have been there. I know how God helped me and what God did for me. I have the words and wisdom of my friend and mentor, Lorie, in my head and heart. God finally showed me what He was painting with the invisible paint...

And let me let you, I cried cause I was so overwhelmed at the beauty of it all!

Let me encourage you...God is there. When He doesn't seem to be working, when you are at the 11th hour, when you have nothing left and are wondering where God is at, please know that God is painting...He is working...I promise He is there and He has a plan. Trust Him, cause when He turns on the black light, you are going to sit in wonder, gratitude and tears, saying...

God, You really were there.

Have hope beautiful ladies, He is just painting with invisible paint.